Networking Isn't Gross

You probably already know that you should be networking.

If you’re anything like me a few years ago, you probably also don’t want to.

You might think it’s too awkward or that people won’t like you or that you have to be fake.

But networking doesn’t have to be golf-playing, country club bullshit. It’s just meeting people and helping people.

It’s just being yourself.

Let me explain.

You don’t have to leave your room

You can build a robust, meaningful network over video calls.

In fact, I’d recommend this is how you start.

It takes physical presentation out of the equation. You don’t have to worry about what to do with your hands. You don’t need to join ongoing conversations or feel like you’re interrupting anyone.

It’s a great low-pressure way to start.

You don’t need to have an agenda

In fact, it’s better if you don’t. People can tell when you’re trying to get something from them.

I made this mistake early on. I went into networking events with the goal of making sales for my software agency.

Luckily for me, someone (to whom I owe a lot) noticed and told me something I will never forget: “your goal should be to book a coffee date.”

What he meant by that is the only goal of networking is to make a good impression. And the best way to do that is to listen.

You don’t have to talk about yourself

Human beings have a deep, innate need to be listened to.

You can make a phenomenal impression on someone just by asking them questions about themselves. It sounds counter-intuitive, but you will make yourself more memorable by asking questions than by talking about yourself.

The person asking questions and listening is the person in control of the conversation. You can drop bits of information about yourself strategically. You can ask for something, like introductions or referrals. But always bring it back to the other person.

People like connecting people

Rejection sucks. But networking isn’t dating. You will find that people are shockingly willing to book a 30 minute video call with you. People are eager to put you in touch with other people in their network.

I’ve talked to the former CTO of IBM, the chairman of the Canadian Chamber of Commerce, and dozens of founders of big money startups - just by asking.

There’s something about good-faith, friendly connections that bring out the best in people.

So don’t worry about rejection! It won’t happen, and if it does, that’s not someone you want in your network anyways.

Just ask. You’ll be amazed who you can talk to.