A Practical 10 Step Guide To Networking


When I first started networking… I hated it. I had no idea what I was doing. I felt like an imposter. Part of that was just my natural introversion, but part of it was just not understanding the practical ins and outs of the practice.

So in the interest of helping you avoid that learning curve, here is how I would start if I had to start again from zero.

This is a practical guide, but one piece of mindset advice: the whole point is to build trust and build relationships. This isn’t a game or a mechanical process - you’re talking to real people and building a real reputation. So be yourself! Be nice! And don’t stress… if you have that mindset, it’s really hard to screw this up.

1. Set a goal, or don’t

Are you enthusiastic about this idea? Then let that enthusiasm carry you. Don’t set rigid “5 calls a week” goals yet. Don’t systematize it. Just do it.

Are you… less than enthusiastic about this idea? Then set a goal. 1 call a week is a great place to start.

2. Make a list

Make a list of all the people in your personal and professional life who you think are already part of your network. Your close friends don’t count, nor do your current coworkers. Former colleagues, acquaintences, people you met at events, even people you’ve never met in real life but have had some touchpoint with virtually.

If you have an active-ish LinkedIn, go through your connections to make this process easier.

Put all the names in a spreadsheet, and then pick five people you want to start with. Just go with your gut here, it doesn’t really matter. People you think you could have a pleasant conversation with.

3. Start with video

Unless you’re an extrovert who likes going out to events, I wouldn’t recommend starting this way. It’s much harder to learn the skill of networking when you’re nervous about how you look. You can’t have a good conversation if you don’t know what to do with your hands.

Start with video calls. You can control your environment. It doesn’t matter if you forget to put on deoderant.

4. Have a “script”

You should know your answser in advance to questions like “what do you do” or “tell me about yourself.”

It shouldn’t be a long-winded info-dump or a snappy sales pitch. Just natural answers to those kinds of questions that you don’t need to think about in the moment.

  • What do you do?
  • Tell me about yourself
  • What kind of opportunities are you looking for?
  • Is there anything I can do for you?

You will notice yourself answering the same questions over and over - just have an answer in advance!

This is the basis of authentic personal branding.

5. Record your calls

Get Fathom or some other call transcription service and have it join your calls. Very few people mind, and it’s enlightening watching yourself talk. You’ll pick up on verbal habits, mannerisms, and other aspects of your own conversational ability that you can either lean into or correct.

6. Only ask questions

You shouldn’t have an agenda. You’re not trying to get a job or make a sale. You’re not pitching yourself.

People love when other people listen to them. The best way to make a good impression is to not talk at all - just ask questions.

Eventually the other person will ask you something… go ahead and answer, but turn the conversation back to them as soon as you can. The person asking questions is the one guiding the conversation, and part of the skill of networking is guiding conversations. So practice it, and make a good impression at the same time.

7. Ask for intros

Okay, so you do have an agenda, but it’s not nefarious.

You should always end the call by asking for an intro to one or two other people who might be interesting for you to talk to.

People love connecting people. I’ve never not had someone agree to this, and it’s by far the best way to start the networking snowball rolling down the hill.

8. Help people

Try to find ways to help every person you talk to. Maybe you can solve a technical problem for them. Maybe you can point them in the right direction for information or connect them with someone else who might be able to help them more.

You can almost always find a way to help… and that’s the whole point here. Build trust, build relationships. The best way you can do that is by helping.

9. Follow up

The day after your conversation, send an email or a DM to the person you talked to. Just say you appreciated the conversation and would love to stay in touch.

Two or three months after that, send another email or DM to check in and see how they’re doing. You can set up another chat if you want - however, this is where selectivity comes in. You can’t follow up with everyone you talk to, otherwise your calendar will explode. But if you meet someone you got along really well with, or someone who seems likely to have opportunities for you, make an effort to connect on a somewhat regular basis.

10. Set a goal

Once you’ve gotten the hang of this process, it’s time to systematize it and set a goal. I like 5 calls per week. It’s very achievable, it only takes 2.5 hours a week, and it grows your network at a solid clip without overwhelming you.

You can set a different goal… 1 or 10 or 30. Depends how much time you have and what your goals are. Just make sure you remember that the whole point is to build trust and build relationships, so don’t sacrifice quality for quantity.

That’s it! That’s how you start networking. It’s not actually hard to do - it’s just hard to start. So start! If you want help, sign up for the newsletter and send me an email. I’m happy to be your first networking call.

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